Changing an Outlook

Nothing has been posted prior to now, because I had no inspiration to return to a blog saturated in heavy-hearted emotions. So many things, over time, have turned from bad to good to reflect the best in life that I could possibly experience. First and foremost, things in work changed. Though I still do not have my dream job, whatever that may be, wherever it may come from, I have once again reached that point where pride and joy has replaced melancholy and disdain at work. I can only say that since my last blog, we have transitioned into a new customer service team that seems to balance our needs and responsibilities better than ever. Our irate call volume has been replaced with pleasant conversations. I feel like I can do good in someone's life again. Coworker wise, I get to go home now feeling like a whole person again. I wish the best for the person who is gone now, but she has expressed her own equal relief in being in a place that suits her perfectly.

To add to that, I'm just experiencing for the first time in five years what it is like to not be completely immersed in schoolwork. Graduation has been my ticket to existing. Until now, I've worked 40 hours a week at work, and taken 12-15 hours of school work a week. This left nothing between wake and sleep, but dinner. Now I'm supposed to create hobbies and interests...invest in the "better" things of life. I miss what I had. I find myself envying my husband for going back to summer school. How can he stress more than me? That is the question on my mind. Why isn't someone challenging me to the brink of death? I'm the one who thrives on that type of environment, because I figure it is difficult to do. Every girl wants to be or do something unique and impressive. I don't miss class. Like every student with a laptop, I was on Facebook or researching something that intrigued me in our rambling work conversations (beached body found in Lake Allatoona today type of story). I don't miss what I considered "extra internet time," but I do miss writing. I do miss teachers trying to weed out the weak writers, and break down our stamina and persistence--- only to be the one the teacher didn't feel sorry for in the end. I miss getting the ulcers for that. What is wrong with me?! Take the B and add years to your life...no, because then someone else will get the A and I will be considered only less than promising. I thrived off stress, but ONLY with writing. I just figured out that nothing is as euphoric as being wrapped up in creating a work where someone wonders how cracked up on caffeine I was when I wrote it.

All of this leads to my new motivated job search. To be honest, I had been looking for a new job since January. The frustrations emitted in last February's blog may testify that there were other reasons behind leaving, but in truth, I think I've been craving a writing career since I learned the alphabet. I had always thought that the moment I took my diploma in hand, I would be able to walk through the doors of a new job. That moment never came. Still, May 14th did not come sadly. Both my husband and I go against greater statistics. We were married before we were old enough to drink, and have been working full-time for over two years. I know we are more than statistics. I wrote an article in Developmental Psychology about how people who choose to marry young (20 or under) will likely face difficulties they will not be able to overcome. I decided I wouldn't get married young, and follow all of the rules....but then I did it anyway. AND IT WORKED! Why listen to what people expect you to be? Change will never happen if so. I just don't think people should do it expecting that it will make them a responsible person. Responsibility works great with love. Keeps marriages flowing smoothly. It felt great to walk across that stage and know my husband, brother, parents and inlaws were watching 20 bleachers up. I didn't feel depressed that I hadn't found a job. On the other hand, I won't deny that I didn't have Monster, BartowLife, and KSU career services up on my computer the following Monday at lunch to look for a new job. Well, it's like getting married. Now that you've finally gotten married, get on with life. Several weeks later, one late Friday afternoon, I came upon my first really inspiring job ad.

The ad was for an unspecified journalist position. This was the first ad I had seen closest to my degree next to physical therapy. Yeah...exactly. Thinking instantly I should have been a communications major if it meant I could write professionally, I texted the job ad to my husband to get his input. He said I should go for it. I said I didn't want to disappoint a company if they expected me to be a well-seasoned journalist instead of a recent English grad. He said, fine don't do it. Don't even try. Hate when someone says that... My heart jumped. Oh even the thought of such a job stirred excitement in me. If I didn't have the perfect experience they looked for, I would work that much harder to learn whatever it was I was lacking. I submitted a resume, cover letter, and three school pieces I had written. The weekend came and went. Monday, Tuesday...I had not thought much of it. The ad had been taken down by Monday. I took it as a hint that it just wasn't for me. The phone rang at lunch on Wednesday. I had been called in for an interview still yet to come. I choked through the phone call. Oh, I regret being allowed to talk on the phone. The interview is approaching. I've brushed the dust off my AP Style handbook, and relearned the inverted pyramid of journalistic writing. I will come in to their offices just as I am. If anything, this will be great interview experience, but it is what it is...my first real-career interview, and the oppertunity alone has given me great hope for the future.

I heard a businessman say last week that this was the worst economy since the Great Depression, and wouldn't it be befitting if our attitudes reflected the doom that has befallen us. If that was the case, what hope would there be for graduates? Who is he to make such a statement when he obviously is still employed and his job security assured with patriotism that our company alone provides. The contradiction to his statement in my upcoming interview and the irony in his own present circumstances make me glad that he is not in control of our well-being, God is. How glad am I that God knows I need supernatural reassurance.