Thursday, February 5, 2009
Sunday, February 1, 2009
An Uphill Battle to Optimism
I know in my last post, I claimed I was aggravated. Shortly after writing that post, as if it were therapeutic, my aggravation left completely. That's my thought in writing today's post. I can only describe my feelings lately as heavy discouragement, and I'd love to find anyway possible to see where my inspiration went hiding. I'm a very happy, blessed, loved person; God hasn't overlooked me. I have an awesome husband, two dogs, and a cat whom I can take care of and who can take care of me. I don't, however, just have an awesome job.
I've worked in the same position within customer service for two years. Let me talk to people--I LOVE to talk to people. Give me a problem, and I can almost always handle it. I can't, however, always take lightheartedly that I'm not in a career that I most love, have gone to school for, or feel appreciated in. I can't respect walking through a door three hundred and sixty days a year to face the same harsh, angry, embittered coworkers who find their only bit of happiness by highlighting what's wrong in their world and what's wrong with me. What they find funny, I take in one ear, and hope my brain can find a trash can to dump the negativity in. You can't always let words roll out the other ear. Things have gotten much harder at work. I feel like I'm being tested, I really do. Angry customers call in by the hundreds it feels like. One other coworker and I take on the worst of it. Before lunch, we feel like there's nothing but a shell of us left--our soul has been stomped on after angry caller no. 34. When I'm done there, I go to class, and get home hours later just worn down to nothing. Yeah, I chose this life, and until now, I've been really happy. It's not too hard. It's just not right. I think it's time for something new, and I know that's why I feel so downhearted like I do. I'm waiting for an answer...I'm looking daily for an answer. What I'm hoping is that God's not waiting for me to "calm my bottom" like Derek says, because I feel like a calm heart, a patient heart, is not going to happen.
I would like to move to a foreign country.
I've worked in the same position within customer service for two years. Let me talk to people--I LOVE to talk to people. Give me a problem, and I can almost always handle it. I can't, however, always take lightheartedly that I'm not in a career that I most love, have gone to school for, or feel appreciated in. I can't respect walking through a door three hundred and sixty days a year to face the same harsh, angry, embittered coworkers who find their only bit of happiness by highlighting what's wrong in their world and what's wrong with me. What they find funny, I take in one ear, and hope my brain can find a trash can to dump the negativity in. You can't always let words roll out the other ear. Things have gotten much harder at work. I feel like I'm being tested, I really do. Angry customers call in by the hundreds it feels like. One other coworker and I take on the worst of it. Before lunch, we feel like there's nothing but a shell of us left--our soul has been stomped on after angry caller no. 34. When I'm done there, I go to class, and get home hours later just worn down to nothing. Yeah, I chose this life, and until now, I've been really happy. It's not too hard. It's just not right. I think it's time for something new, and I know that's why I feel so downhearted like I do. I'm waiting for an answer...I'm looking daily for an answer. What I'm hoping is that God's not waiting for me to "calm my bottom" like Derek says, because I feel like a calm heart, a patient heart, is not going to happen.
I would like to move to a foreign country.
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